“I am a sleeping giant who is about to wake up.”
Maria is an intersex woman who faced discrimination and violence in Mexico, eventually causing her to flee to the United States in her thirties. She now lives in the South Bay.
“I was born in Mexico, but the people of Mexico never loved or accepted me. In Mexico, all those who are LGBT are discriminated against. But it was worse for me because they did not see me as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. I knew that if I stayed in my family’s house they would also be attacked for having a strange thing like me. So I left my family. I didn’t want my family to suffer because of me.
I came to the United States because I had heard that it was a land of freedom and I thought there could also be security for me. One day while on the street in San Jose, a stranger gave me a paper with a phone number and told me: “In this place they can help you.” I was afraid, but the man did not attack me or say anything – he just turned and left. It took me a long time to gather the courage to call that number.
I finally called and it was Santuario – the place to whom I owe my life.
In the days before my interview at Santuario, I was insecure because I had never talked about my identity and everything that I had suffered in Mexico with anyone.
When I arrived, I saw that I was with people who wanted to help me. It was a new feeling for me, as if I were safe for the first time in my life.
I understood that this was my opportunity to ask for help, even though it hurt to talk about my past and remember everything bad that happened to me. I was forced to be hidden from the age of 13 until age 37 when I received asylum. For 24 years, I was afraid. Since receiving asylum, I have started to feel better. Some days, I still feel insecure around people and worry that they might imagine what I am. It’s very difficult to overcome this fear.
Little by little, I have been gaining confidence because here in the United States, I have discovered that people do not attack me. This is helping me to heal from the trauma that I experienced in Mexico.
Recently, my life took a tremendous turn: I was granted my permanent residency. I am very happy to finally have this legal status that will allow me to be safe for the long term and to fly free. I thank all the people who support the idea of Sanctuary. You are giving people like me another chance to live.
Now for the first time, I love my life. I have a very nice job as a supervisor at Tesla and I am pursuing my dream of becoming a motivational speaker. Every day, I open my arms to heaven and give thanks for being able to live in California. In 4 more years, I am looking forward to becoming a U.S. citizen and to fulfill my dream of being able to vote!
I am so excited and happy with my life that my mind is a little in shock. I do not know exactly how I will help others, but keep in mind that I am a sleeping giant who is about to wake up.
Spanish
Nací en México, pero la gente de México nunca me amó ni me aceptó. En México, aprendí a estar aterrorizado de la gente. Tenía mucho miedo de que la gente descubriera quien era yo, porque sabía lo que le hacían a gente como yo. Nací con un defecto congénito. El médico no sabía si era niño o niña. Los ataques comenzaron en mi adolescencia. En México, todos los que pertenecen al grupo LGBT son discriminados. Pero fue peor para mi porque no me identificaron como lesbiana, gay, bisexual o transgénero.
Vine a los Estados Unidos porque había oído que era una tierra de libertad y pensé que también podría haber seguridad para mí. Un día, mientras estaba en la calle en San José, un extraño me dio un número de teléfono y me dijo: “En este lugar pueden ayudarte”. Tenía miedo, pero el hombre no me atacó y ni dijo nada, se volvió y se fue. Me tomó mucho tiempo reunir el valor de llamar a ese número.
Finalmente llamé y fue Santuario, el lugar al que le debo mi vida.
En los días anteriores de mi entrevista en Santuario, me sentí insegura porque nunca había hablado de mi identidad y todo lo que había sufrido en México. Llegué al Santuario y vi que estaba con gente que quería ayudarme. Fue un nuevo sentimiento para mí, como si estuviera a salvo por primera vez en mi vida. Entendí que esta era mi oportunidad de pedir ayuda, a pesar de que me dolía hablar de mi pasado y recordar todo lo malo que me había pasado.
Me vi obligado a estar oculto desde los 13 años hasta los 37 años cuando el Santuario me ayudó a recibir asilo. Durante 24 años, tuve miedo. Desde que recibí asilo, he empezado a sentirme mejor. Algunos días, todavía me siento inseguro alrededor de la gente y me preocupa que se imaginen lo que soy. Es muy difícil superar este miedo.
Poco a poco, he ido ganando confianza porque aquí en los Estados Unidos, he descubierto que la gente no me ataca. Esto me está ayudando a sanar del trauma que experimenté en México.
Hace unos meses, mi vida dio un giro tremendo: se me concedió mi residencia permanente. Estoy muy feliz de tener finalmente este estatus legal que me permitirá estar a salvo a largo plazo y volar libremente.
Doy las gracias al Santuario por cambiar mi vida. Doy las gracias a todos los abogados que ayudaron en mi caso, pero lo que es más importante, agradezco a todas las personas que apoyan esta organización y la idea de Santuario. Le estás dando a gente como yo otra oportunidad de vivir.
Ahora, por primera vez, amo mi vida. Tengo un trabajo muy agradable como supervisor en Tesla y estoy persiguiendo mi sueño de convertirme en un orador motivacional. Todos los días, abro los brazos al cielo y doy gracias por poder vivir en California. ¡En cuatro años más, estoy deseando convertirme en ciudadano estadounidense y cumplir mi sueño de poder votar!
Estoy tan emocionada y feliz con mi vida que mi mente está un poco en shock. No sé exactamente cómo ayudaré a los demás, pero ten en cuenta que soy un Gigante Durmiente que está a punto de despertar
Context
The rights of LGBTQ+ people have grown stronger in Mexico since discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation was outlawed in 2003. More than half of Mexico’s 32 states recognize gay marriage and the nation’s top court ruled that trans people have a legal right to change their gender identity on official documents. Still, legal advocates warn that increased visibility has exacerbated public misperceptions and false stereotypes about queer people and increased extreme violence towards LGBTQ+ people. 2019 was the deadliest year for LGBTQ+ people in Mexico in half a decade, according to Reuters.
In 2019, 117 lesbian, gay, bi and trans people were killed in Mexico, over a third of which were trans women. In a predominantly Catholic country, gay and trans people still experience social prejudice, and hate crimes due to homophobia and transphobia are “generally made invisible,” according to Patricia Mercado, a Mexican senator.
Immigration judges in the United States give excessive weight to reports of minor societal advancements for gay communities in Mexico, without understanding the oppressive conditions most queer Meixcans still face. Consequently, without thoroughly examining the actual conditions, immigration judges are not able to assess asylum cases fully and accurately and many asylum applications are rejected.
Sources
- Lopez, Oscar. “Mexico sees deadliest year for LGBT+ people in five years,” Reuters. May 15, 2020.
- Report on Human Rights Conditions for Transgender Women in Mexico. Transgender Law Center, Cornell University Law School. May 2016.
